


Victoria vs. The Merchantry

by Misedejem



Category: Bravely Default, Bravely Default (Video Game) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 21:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5555810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misedejem/pseuds/Misedejem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Victor and Victoria vacate to Anchiem on business, and though Victor grew up in the city, Victoria's experiences with both the place and the people are all but familiar. What she finds only inspires her notorious deviousness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Victoria vs. The Merchantry

“Why is your coat so heavy? What do you have in your pockets?”

Victoria was under no doubt that Victor looked stupid to passers-by. She was sat on his shoulders, holding his coat over her head for shade. Her arms ached something awful and she kept getting his hair in her mouth, but anything was better than the midday Harenan sun. At least Victor was getting strange looks, not being the acclaimed young prodigy he was in Eternia out here, despite being Harenan himself.

Under that awful, ticking clock, a group of Merchantry soldiers intercepted them and saluted with a chorus of grunts the Grand Marshal had engrained into his soldiers’ thick skulls. All of them chanting in unison like fool sheep, mindlessly obeying the every order of the duchy. Where was the fun in being a drone? And why were they all wearing black?

“It is an honour to welcome the esteemed spokesperso- ah, people, to our city!” A bearded man in a white turban beamed a false smile, checking himself as his eyes passed over Victoria.

She pouted, considering whether or not it would be worth reducing this man to ashes right on the spot. He was inside the palace, so he must be important, and the Templar probably wouldn’t let them leave the country again if the King’s favourite lapdog suddenly dropped dead.

“You know Erutus Profiteur, of course?” A tiny little man with a moustache and dental problems smirked.

“It is my pleasure, Chairman Profiteur,” Victor mused, though there was no such pleasure in his voice. He turned to the third man in the room and made a sweeping bow, a sure sign that he was about to begin rambling petty flattery to some Harenan big-shot.

“Why are you wearing abstract art on your head?” Victoria asked before Victor could open his mouth.

Next to her, the young doctor straightened, his pallor significantly paler and his eyes wide. “Easy Victoria,” he muttered through clenched teeth.

The man she had been addressing looked visibly horrified. “The royal raiment is not abstract!” he spluttered. “It’s the very latest in fashion, I’ll have you know!”

“Well, the very latest in fashion looks ridiculous,” she stated matter-of-factly, folding her arms.

“Aah, my apologies Lord Khamer!” Victor quickly called out before anybody could comment. “I forgot to formally introduce you to Victoria, it would seem. It’s my fault completely… Aha…”

So this man was the Time Mage and the King of Anchiem? Well, at least the Templar had the audacity to dress like a normal human being rather than a literal walking timepiece.

Though Victor looked flustered, the King seemed to regain his composure and smiled. “Not to worry, my good doctor. If you didn’t make the odd mistake, you’d be flawless.”

He embraced Victor like a son and Victoria rolled her eyes. Just her luck. The old man fancied Victor. 

***

“No, Victoria, the King does not want to make me his ‘hot, young lover’. We knew each other some years back. He was like a father to me.”

“I’ve decided I hate Anchiem, Victor.”

“Well, we’re only here for a couple of days. Long enough to settle the matters the Lord Templar has asked us to discuss with the Chairman and his majesty.”

Victor hung up his coat on his staff and looked about the room. Apparently, it had been his father’s old study when they had lived and worked in the King’s court, and there were still the odd belongings everywhere. Victoria had no qualms with looking through these belongings, as Vincent had been scum of the earth and deserved no respect. She happened across a leather bound book in one of the desk drawers and sat herself down next to Victor on the bed, laying it across their laps so she could open it. Inside were many pictures of the same young boy who looked vaguely familiar.

“Victoria, I-”

“Are these your baby pictures, Victor?”

“Oh no…” Victoria began to giggle wildly and Victor’s face turned red.

“Oooooh, look at you! Look at those chubby cheeks and all your freckles and your hair! Ahaha, your hair looks so stupid! I want you to have that hairstyle back, quick get me a pudding bowl!”

“I’m going to take a shower Victoria,” Victor announced quickly, standing so the book fell to the floor.

When he was gone, she hid a few of the pictures on her person so she could show the nurse he was soft on when they got back. She decided to go and explore the palace grounds before they were summoned to dinner.

***

Victoria’s entire mouth was on fire. How was it physically possible to get that much spice into one sliver of meat? Moreover, how were the others handling it without looking like they were going to breathe dragon flames? There were only four other people at dinner. The tiny chairman, the King, the man who had met them earlier that day and Victor.

“Is that too spicy for you, Victoria?” Victor asked softly. She shook her head, willing herself not to start panting.

“It’s just gross,” she lied, her voice a barely audible squeak.

The King looked slightly hurt at the remark, but she didn’t care. “You will mind your tongue when speaking about ze King’s dishes, girl!” The small man piped up, leaning over the table.

Victoria’s rage flared, but Victor spoke up in her stead, his voice breaking slightly as it did when he was feeling particularly irritated.

“Erutus Profiteur, might I remind you that you are under investigation by the duchy? Please refrain from taking such a tone with Victoria.”

"I don't believe we were formally introduced," the overly unimportant-seeming man announced in a feeble attempt to quell the rising tempers of the others. “I’m Prime Minister Dominus Harena.” He leaned over the table to shake their hands. His breath smelt like pickles. Victoria shrank back into her chair as he drew his hand away.

“He’s here as my special guest,” Khamer explained, a boyish grin spreading across his face. An almost identical one appeared on Erutus Profiteur as they exchanged quick glances.

As the meal went on, Victor began to ramble about the Templar’s plans for the merchantry’s military position, and in return the Chairman discussed the monthly budget. Once the conversation moved onto how much Alternis was spending on coffee, Victoria zoned out and sunk into her chair, staring at the ceiling.

“If ze Templar wishes to fund new airships zen he is going to have to cut back on the luxuries,” the merchant explained.

“Erutus, are we not being a little harsh on the Grand Marshal? Surely he has Eternia’s best interests at heart?” the Time Mage cut in before Victor could talk.

“I am afraid it is a brute fact, your majesty. Ze Templar has always been reckless, I must say.”

“Excuse me Erutus!? This is very unbecoming-”

“If you love the Grand Marshal so much, just marry him,” Victoria told him. Victor made an audible squeak.

“I don’t…”

“Do you have no respect? Ze King is not-”

“Defensive, are we? Something to hide? Victor, would you say the Chairman and the King are hiding something?”

“If you say so, Victoria.”

“Now see here, I-”

“Zis is slander!”

Unfortunately, Victor could not stick up for Victoria in this case because he had taken that opportunity to put as much spicy potato in his mouth as he could, probably intentionally. It also meant that he couldn’t change the subject, and that Victoria could content herself with watching the two older men’s faces grow redder and redder out of embarrassment or fury.

“Is the only reason Anchiem is even in league with us because the King is sleeping with the Chairman of the second division?”

Victor choked a little and Khamer looked like he wanted to evaporate on the spot.

“You insolent pest! Zis is not ze appropriate way to address ze King!”

“You didn’t deny it. And I’ll thank you not to call me a pest. I could scatter you at a moment’s notice if you dare insult me again.” To add to the effect, she summoned a dark, toxic cloud that seemed to fester in the air after it was gone.

Victor nodded in agreement, tears streaming from his eyes as he continued to cough. The Chairman shrank back, uttering a few little squeaks and nodding until his hat fell off. Victoria smirked. She was considering backing down at this point, but then her snooping around the palace came back to mind. She had knocked out the guards, not wanting to risk another fit by killing them, and had spent a lot of time pondering what she found in there.

“One more thing. I found this on your throne, Your Majesty.” She pulled out a gold hourglass. “Why would anyone sit on something like this? Is it the royal b-”

Nobody could find out what she was about to say, because at that precise moment the vein in Victor’s forehead began to stand out and he turned to finally snap at her after so many years, Dominus Harena took a mouthful of the curry the King had prepared just for him and screamed bloody murder.

***

“How was Anchiem?” Alternis dared ask when they arrived back two days early. Victor hit him with his staff and stalked off.


End file.
